amwriting
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Transcript from opening remarks by our keynote speaker, Professor Juniper Thrust And now the question will always be – where to start – you see, you see? Never easy is it. Like sponge cakes, homemade aphrodisiacs and garden furniture, it looks a doddle. But let’s take garden furniture. Where would you start? No, nothing in…
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Dr Bart floats past, two nurses in pursuit. Mother is reading Photoplay and wants me to know this; she sniffs and shifts in her seat. Then I see why – it has Ava on the cover in mink, meaning that I’m p.32, one column including headshot: ‘Trina Belmont Takes a Break’, between adverts for Drano…
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This time 44 years ago, my mum was very pregnant and probably annoyed with all of that kind of stuff. She would still look immaculate, mind – she would have shot herself rather than give in to the spread of me across her hips and round her middle – I imagine her in a belted,…
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I have a strange approach to memory. I mean, I don’t know because I don’t really know how anyone else’s memory works, even when they say ‘oh my memory is terrible’. It’s all approximation, baby. But I’m going to go ahead and presume that mine is neither orthodox or particularly good. I can’t remember…
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It has been a while, hasn’t it? And honestly, if I had to compile a ‘greatest hits of 2018’, even if i combined it with ‘wackiest nights out’ and the ‘memorable moments’ package, there wouldn’t be enough to fill an ad break. For clarity, I should add that no one has actually approached me to…
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I returned the handset to its brass cradle and looked at the man, who hovered near the only open doorway in a rectangle of yellow light. ‘Thank you.’ He shrugged. It’s a good job it happened when it did. There’s nothing for quite some way. “ ‘I know.’ “How long did they say?’ “The…