Humour
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Transcript from opening remarks by our keynote speaker, Professor Juniper Thrust And now the question will always be – where to start – you see, you see? Never easy is it. Like sponge cakes, homemade aphrodisiacs and garden furniture, it looks a doddle. But let’s take garden furniture. Where would you start? No, nothing in…
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Do you have images from films or books that stick in your head? For years afterwards? I don’t mean the collective, iconic ‘you’ll find me on the back wall of a Planet Hollywood restaurant’ kind of image – but the weird little private ones, that maybe only you will remember. One image that I always…
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I have a strange approach to memory. I mean, I don’t know because I don’t really know how anyone else’s memory works, even when they say ‘oh my memory is terrible’. It’s all approximation, baby. But I’m going to go ahead and presume that mine is neither orthodox or particularly good. I can’t remember…
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Here’s something that I read at a charity event in support of A New Leaf, who do incredible work towards greening the centre of Manchester, I tried to write in the style of an eminent Victorian Lady Botanist (if I had more time or brains I would give you a specific name) and in this…
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Last night was not a vintage night in my household. We were very much awake for most of it, so much so that I just had a mid morning nap, brief and blissfull, on the playstation console. My son is also feeling the burn, pressing his forehead and eyes into any available solid object like…
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I went to New York recently (she says casually like Cindy Crawford would, or a businesslady from the 1990s). Okay it was April in fact, but it’s been a turgid few months since then, filled with regret and lassitude at no longer being in New York so it has taken me a while to write.…
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When I leave in the morning, it is generallly darker than when I return in the evening. Some people I know would find this incredibly depressing and the effects of Seasonal Affective Disorder are well-documented. I know, because I convinced myself that I had this once and even bought a lamp to help me, but…
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Like gathering around a camp fire to tell ghost stories, it has become something of a tradition of mine to tell a tale of a gruesome birthday past on my anniversarial day. I think last year was the tale of the panto drubbing, but this year I will tell you another tale so horrifyingly embarrassing,…