5 things to do on the tube whenyou’ve finished your book, your ipod has run out and the games on your mobile are crap (this list may expand as I discover more….)
1. Play which of your fellow tubefarers would you eat first if the carriage got stuck underground for a long period of time and you went mad and couldn’t get out and had to eat someone to survive?
2. Play which of your fellow tubefarers could you beat in a fight? (Perhaps the same answer as question number 1)
3. If your opposite passenger was an animal, which animal would they be.
4. Bet on whether the new entry to your carriage will make it to the seat in time or…. oh no….fall over into adjacent passenger’s lap.
5. Play ‘spot the stylist’ shoe’. This involves browsing whichever shit free paper is lying around at your feet, identifying starlets on the red carpet who are wearing shoes that are visibly too big for them (usually a big gap at the heel of the shoe which should be filled with ankle). So called as they are clearly the quarry of some harrassed stylist’s assistant who has picked up the nearest stillie and shoved on starlet’s foot to complete the ensemble, regardless of shoe size – foot incompatibility (see visual).
6. Guess the smell.
Okay, that’s 6, but I knew it was a grower.